The Casino Effect: Why Women Love Bad Boys Versus Nice Guys
Lots of women have a stronger attraction to bad boys versus nice guys. They will tell you it’s because bad boys are more exciting and nice guys are just too boring. Now this might be a factor, however I believe there is something deeper going on. I believe what causes this to happen is what I call the “Casino Effect”.
In order to explain the casino Effect I am going to describe two different situations that most of us have experienced in our lives. I will then show how those two situations relate to the bad boy/nice guy condition. This will give you a solid understanding of what the Casino Effect is and why it relates to both bad boys and nice guys.
The first situation is dinning at a restaurant, specifically a restaurant you have been to and enjoy. People enjoy going back to restaurants they know to be good. When someone has a good previous experience somewhere they expect future experiences to be the same. Most of the time (say 9 out of 10) this expectation is met. judi bola handicap The service is fast and friendly; the food is hot and tasty; and the atmosphere is wonderful. Then on that 10th time something goes wrong. The food is bad, the service is a disaster, or there is a screaming child in the next booth. Something happens to make the experience unpleasant.
The problem with this is that because this one unpleasant experience was unexpected it is what we focus on. Our minds are designed to focus on things that don’t meet our expectations. This is an important condition that was needed to help our species survive. It allowed us to handle new situations as they developed.
The next time the idea of going to this particular restaurant is presented the person will automatically remember the one bad time they had and forget about all the good times. They may go back, however their focus will be on every little thing that goes wrong and this will diminish their experience. The next time this place is mentioned the person will most likely express their dissatisfaction with it. They may say the place used to be good but now is bad or how they had a terrible time the last time they were there. This shift in focus will eventually destroy their ability to enjoy the place at all. The end result is they will stop going.
The second situation is gambling at a casino. I personally come from a long line of gamblers in my family so I have experience with this. Everyone knows when they go to a casino the odds are against them. They may say they expect to win but the truth is they know the chances. Most of the time (again let’s use 9 out of 10) people loss money at a casino. Then on that 10th time they win big.
The few times people go to a casino and win are the times they focus on because again it falls outside their expectation. The key concept of the Casino Effect is that anything that falls outside our expectations will become our focus and get magnified. People always exaggerate the times they won. You never hear people talk about the times they lost only the times they won.
So again the principle idea of the Casino Effect is anything that falls outside our expectations, no matter good or bad, will become our focus and get magnified. In the case of the restaurant it was the few bad experiences and in the case of the casino it was the few big wins. Now let’s look at the bad boy versus nice guy situation.
I will start with the nice guy. When a woman is dating a nice guy, for the most part, he does everything right. He will open doors, buy flowers, listen, and many other things. Women expect this from nice guys, it’s what they do.
The issue here is at some point the nice guy will screw up (they all do at some point).
When the nice guy makes a mistake, that mistake falls outside the expectations of the woman. It is the same process as the restaurant example. The woman will focus on the mistake and magnify it to the point where it is all she will think about. She will begin to question not only the nice guy’s actions but the relationship too. This creates a downward spiral that usually ends the relationship.
Let’s now look at bad boys. When a woman is dating a bad boy they tend to know what they are getting know chances are they will be treated poorly. They expect not to receive all the wonderful things a nice guy would do.
The key is every bad boy from time to time does do something nice. A bad boy will suddenly get flowers, or take her somewhere nice. This follows the same process as the casino example. Most of the time when a woman dates a bad boy she will loss, yet every once in a while she will win big. Again because these nice things fall outside her expectations she will focus on and magnify them.
So the reason women prefer bad boys versus nice guys has nothing to do with what the guys are doing. It has to do with the expectations of the women dating them. Their expectations set them up to favor bad boys versus nice guys.